Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Perhaps She'll Die

On my way to mail Mary's prize from this month's prize giveaway, I swallowed a fly. Yeah, it was gross.

It was morning, and I hadn't had my caffeine yet, so I fixed a cup of Diet Coke and ice before I headed toward the Post Office. As soon as I got in the car, I realized I had company. A fly had decided to hitch a ride. I rolled the window down and tried to shoo him out several times. He wasn't the brightest fly in the jar, so of course he continued to fly around inside the car. Eventually, I thought he was gone. Then, I took a big gulp of my drink. Let's just say that I had a little extra protein in my diet that day. Yuck!

Anyway, since that day, I've had a song stuck in my head. When I was in 5th grade, I had Miss Dinkle as a music teacher. This is a song she had us sing quite a bit.

There was an old woman who swallowed a fly.
I don't know why she swallowed a fly.
Perhaps she'll die.

There was an old woman who swallowed a spider,
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.
I don't know why she swallowed a fly.
Perhaps she'll die.

There was an old woman who swallowed a bird.
How absurd to swallow a bird!
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider,
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.
I don't know why she swallowed a fly.
Perhaps she'll die.

There was an old woman who swallowed a cat.
Imagine that to swallow a cat!
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird,
How absurd to swallow a bird!
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider,
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.
I don't know why she swallowed a fly.
Perhaps she'll die.

There was an old woman who swallowed a dog.
What a hog to swallow a dog!
She swallowed the dog to catch the cat.
Imagine that to swallow a cat!
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird,
How absurd to swallow a bird!
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider,
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.
I don't know why she swallowed a fly.
Perhaps she'll die.

There was an old woman who swallowed a goat.
Just opened her throat to swallow a goat.
She swallowed the goat to catch the dog.
What a hog to swallow a dog!
She swallowed the dog to catch the cat.
Imagine that to swallow a cat!
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird,
How absurd to swallow a bird!
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider,
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.
I don't know why she swallowed a fly.
Perhaps she'll die.

There was an old woman who swallowed a cow.
I don't know how she swallowed a cow!
She swallowed the cow to catch the goat.
Just opened her throat to swallow a goat.
She swallowed the goat to catch the dog.
What a hog to swallow a dog!
She swallowed the dog to catch the cat.
Imagine that to swallow a cat!
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird,
How absurd to swallow a bird!
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider,
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.
I don't know why she swallowed a fly.
Perhaps she'll die.

There was an old woman who swallowed a horse.
She's dead of course!


So, I've just got a few questions. First of all, who thinks of this stuff? I guess someone with more imagination than me. My second question is, a cow to catch a goat and a goat to catch a dog? What in the world? I'm right there with the song, until the goat, then it loses me. Heh.

I remember a lot of random songs like this from childhood. Very few of them make any sort of sense. A lot of them are just so ingrained in your mind, that you don't even think about the words. Then one day, you're in your 30s and you get an old song stuck in our head and you really hear the words for the first time. Then you say to yourself, "What in the hell?"

It's funny. I wonder what kinds of songs my kids will get stuck in their heads someday?

5 comments:

seattlesarah said...

What a story! I definitely would have started singing that song afterward, too. I sincerely hope you DON'T die!

Tisha_ said...

LOL Well, it's been a couple of weeks, so I think I'm in the clear. Hee!

Shanna said...

LOL...well I ate a bunch of ants last month LOL, it didn't hurt me, but EWWW!

Tisha_ said...

Why????

Shanna said...

LOL well remember on the 4th when ya'll came we had those sandwiches out in the screen house? well i had left those chips (closed up) out there and then like the next day after ya'll left we were going have sandwiches so i told mark to go get the chips and i put some on my plate and everything and i'm sitting here eating and i see a ant... i'm like WTF so i killed it and i keep eating and i see another one and i'm like MAN WTF!! so i get to looking and they are all in my chips! so i look in the bag and OMG its full of little black ants! so i dont know how many i ate but they went in the trash and i'll never leave food out there again LOL!